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134: Catching Up to Your Growth and Success Coaching Session

134: Catching Up to Your Growth and Success Coaching Session

“If I don’t put it out there,  I’m not meeting the needs of the people that need it the most, which goes against  my purpose, which is to leave impact, to leave a legacy, even in my physical absence. I see that as a way of me doing that.”

~Walter Williams

Meet Walter Williams

Walter Williams, MS, LPC, is a devoted advocate for positive change, deeply committed to the philosophy of servant leadership. A proud Chicago native, Walter has earned both his B.S. and M.S. in Rehabilitation Psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. His journey in the field of mental health began as a juvenile court worker in Wisconsin and he has since advanced to practicing as a psychotherapist and life coach.  

Walter has led various organizations with a shared commitment to bolstering the Black community through economic initiatives, empowerment, and fostering empathy. He is dedicated to inspiring local organizations to collaborate in tackling systemic barriers to equity and unity. 

As the Owner of Think and Grow, LLC., Walter champions a holistic approach to well-being, focusing on mental fortitude, physical development, and spiritual upliftment. His company is not just a business; it’s a mission-driven endeavor aimed at transforming lives. Walter’s relentless support for individuals and his broader community underscores his life’s purpose—service beyond self.

In this Episode...

Do you feel stuck, even after achieving the success you once worked so hard for? In today’s coaching session, Linzy sits down with Walter Williams, a therapist who has transitioned from a challenging upbringing of poverty and adversity to running a successful private practice. Walter opens up about the emotional experience of feeling frozen in his new life, struggling to catch up to the success he’s worked so hard to achieve. Together, Walter and Linzy explore the gap between surviving and truly thriving, and what it takes to bridge that divide.

In this episode, Linzy and Walter discuss the inner work of caring for younger versions of ourselves that might still be stuck in survival mode, even when our external lives look successful. Linzy shares practical strategies to overcome limiting beliefs, step into more expansive spaces, and fully embrace the abundance you’ve built.

If you’ve ever felt held back by fears or found it difficult to enjoy your success or to take next steps in your growth, this conversation will help you get unstuck and live fully in the life you’ve created. Tune in for an inspiring discussion about the journey from survival to thriving.

Want to work with Linzy?

Check out the FREE masterclass, The 4 Step Framework to Getting Your Business Finances Totally in Order, where you’ll learn the framework that has helped hundreds of therapists go from money confusion and shame to calm and confidence, as well as the three biggest financial mistakes that therapists make. At the end, you’ll be invited to join Money Skills for Therapists and get Linzy’s support in getting your finances finally working for you.

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Walter: If I don’t put it out there, I’m not meeting the needs of the people that need it the most, which goes against my purpose, which is to leave an impact, you know, leave a legacy. Even in my physical absence, I see that as a way of doing that.

[00:00:15] Linzy: Welcome to the Money Skills for Therapists podcast, where we answer this question: how can therapists and health practitioners go from money shame and confusion to feeling calm and confident about their finances and get money working for them in both their private practice and their lives? I’m your host, Linzy Bonham, therapist turned money coach, and creator of the course Money Skills for Therapists. 

[00:00:35] Hello and welcome back to the Money Skills for Therapists podcast. Today’s guest is Walter Williams. Walter and I had a coaching conversation today, digging into catching up to himself, having grown up with poverty and drugs and violence, and now finding himself successfully in private practice, having these ambitions to do more.

[00:00:56] Walter and I talked about the stuckness and the freeze that can come from just landing in life in a different place than he started. There’s a lot today in this conversation around catching up with yourself. How do you take care of those younger versions of us who are in disbelief about where we are today?

[00:01:17] How to get yourself moving if you’re stuck, if you’ve got some ideas on these neat, expansive things to do, how do you make them happen when all these parts of you come up with all sorts of objections as to why you should just stay small and safe. We cover a lot of ground today.

[00:01:32] Here is my coaching episode with Walter Williams.

[00:01:50] Linzy: So Walter, welcome to the podcast.

[00:01:52] Walter: Thank you for having me. It’s good to be here. 

[00:01:53] Linzy: Yeah, I’m excited to have you here to talk today about the piece you want to bring forward. So yeah, let’s get into, what you want to explore today during our time together.

[00:02:03] Walter: Yeah, I am a private practice owner. I work for myself. I make decisions for myself, and I’m solo. Well, I have an assistant. And I have reached the point in my career where I’ve brought in good money, you know, being by myself, which is great, but I find myself sometimes getting stuck or stagnant.

[00:02:25] To me, it seems to be connected to sometimes what I call my poverty mindset. I grew up in a drug-infested home. My mom was a drug user, a drug dealer. So I saw a lot of fast money. So I never saw any intentions behind money other than, how do we flip this to get that again and to stay afloat?

[00:02:45] In other words, survival mode, Thankfully life is over and done with, and no longer being in that environment. But I still find myself sometimes mentally limiting the things that I can do or restricting myself from things that I could do or need to be doing. So it’s a constant battle.

[00:03:05] It’s a constant battle, you know, and yeah, yeah. So that’s the gist of it. I’m going, I’m just going to go right now, but that’s it. Um,

[00:03:11] Linzy: Can you tell me more about when you see that show up? Like, what do you see popping up that you’re like, Oh, there’s that poverty mindset again?

[00:03:18] Walter: A lame example I could think of, let’s say, let’s say, I need to purchase something. I have the funds. I’ll justify why I don’t purchase it. I don’t need it. It’s a T-shirt. For example, I know I need new T-shirts, the T-shirts I have worked on, but I choose not to buy more. Cause I’m, in my mind, I’m like, why go out and buy something more of what you already have?

[00:03:41] But it’s moments like those where I’m like… Business. I know that I need to hire help. I know that I need help. But I’m like, I can do it myself to save me some money. How can I afford to pay them when I’m I’m I’m just. You know, keeping the lights on here.

[00:03:59] So it’s thoughts Fthat come up for me that I think causes me to freeze and not make any decisions. And, and then sometimes ruminate a bit, you know?

[00:04:09] Linzy: Yeah. I’m curious, what is the belief under that for you? Like, is it that there isn’t enough? Is it wasteful that you could lose everything? What is it that may be informing these thoughts?

[00:04:22] Walter: That’s a good question. Would say the belief there is… I have a few thoughts and a few beliefs that I may be operating from. I can do it myself. You know, thinking business-wise. Two, hold on to what you have. Because we’re not always sure what’s going to come.

[00:04:41] And I think the other belief that Imay defaults to is not a priority. It’s not an emergency or it’s not a priority. In my upbringing emergencies look like the police kicking in the door. The emergency was family members in jail who needed some money. Those were emergencies or violence in a community and things like that.

[00:05:03] So, what an emergency looked like for me now is different. But for me, um, if it’s not as high or alarming as some of the things I’ve experienced growing up, it’s like, Oh, we’ll be fine. It’s not an emergency. That’s not a priority, so I’ll kind of kick the can down the road.

[00:05:23] Linzy: Yeah, I mean, it makes me think about how, yeah, for sure. And I’m trying to think of the right analogy for it, but what I’m thinking about is, is a thermometer, like temperature, it’s almost what it takes for something to be urgent is so extreme, because of what you grew up with that normal things that need attention just don’t warrant a response, you know, in that, in that metric that you have.

[00:05:45] What does that end up meaning then? Like, tell me what it means for you that, we’re going to go back to that first example that you don’t love, but we’re going to go there of not buying those new t-shirts for yourself, or  not investing in help. What does that mean for your life? How’s this impacting you?

[00:05:59] Walter: Yeah, I think it keeps me stuck. I think it keeps me in the mind frame of whether is a high enough priority for me to consider right now. Even struggled trying to answer the question because I think that’s where I kind of just go blank. 

[00:06:20] Linzy: Seems like there’s a freeze and a stuckness, you know, that’s, that’s the nervous system response that’s happening. And something that it’s making me think about is, If there aren’t emergencies, right, like the police aren’t kicking down your door anymore, right, you’re not getting calls about family members in jail.

[00:06:36] When those extreme things aren’t happening but you’re, you’re waiting for those things, what are you doing?

[00:06:42] Walter: I’m usually praying, just hoping things continue to get better. And I’m thinking about the younger version of myself like the time of, I can’t wait to get older to get out of this. I’m hoping my mom gets sober. Let me, let me control what I can control. That, that’s typically what I’m doing.

[00:07:05] Thinking, behaviorally, what I’m doing is, I’m keeping myself occupied with extracurricular activities, think coping, if you will, to help you distract me from the reality of what I was dealing with. So now what that looks like is, me reflecting, I’ll journal to process my thoughts.

[00:07:28] I’ll talk with my partner. But I too then will find something to distract me, to keep me from, staying with the thing that I need to stay with so many ideas, so many clients that I work with, so treatment plans and case notes that I can update… Though it’s daunting, that stuff becomes easy because it’s a distraction from sitting with what I know I need. 

[00:07:53] Linzy: Absolutely, and that is one of the gifts of being a therapist, right, is some endless people need your help and endless things you could be working on to improve people’s lives, which is a very worthy use of our time and life energy. But I’m hearing that that energy is not getting turned to your own life, to looking at these hard things, to face.

[00:08:11] Walter: Yeah, I never had to spend a lot of time worrying about me. My entire life was tending to, caring for, and worrying about others, particularly my family. So when it comes to me is like, I don’t know.

[00:08:29] Even as a therapist, I could sit on this side of the table and keep my life at the center, but when it’s reversed, that freeze comes up.

[00:08:42] Linzy: Because something that I’m thinking about as you’re describing this freeze is it’s kind of like you… Your nervous system is stuck in the past, right? You’re still bracing and expecting the worst. So anything less than that doesn’t warrant a response. Right? Isn’t worth your money. 

[00:08:57] I’m also hearing you’re still in this hyper-independence response. Right,  when you were a kid, you worried about other people, you kept yourself busy, you were high functioning, you were probably parentified, I would assume, so it’s like, I can do it, and I’m hearing, still there’s that response, I can do it, I don’t need help, I can do it, I can figure it out, right, and so what I’m hearing is, All these great strategies that help you survive as a child in an unimaginably terrible situation are now looking like you not being in your life today when it comes to your business and your money.

[00:09:29] Do you see this showing up in other areas of your life, too? This kind of like freeze and distract yourself response? Mm hmm.

[00:09:37] Walter: Not exactly, you know. The thing that I see show up in other areas, I’m thinking about my, well, my partner. Her crises look different from what I’m used to. So when she’s on fire, it’s hard for me to read.

[00:09:51] She can be on fire and look poised, and look relaxed, she’s not like, ah, she’s not up in flames, the alarm system isn’t going off.

[00:10:01] So, that’s an area that I continue to grow in there as it pertains to that. But it just tends to be right now I’m just around this business,

[00:10:13] My growth and, and where I want to go and wherever that is. And I think that’s why, that’s why I struggle.

[00:10:19] Linzy: Yeah. Well, that’s my next question, right? Is like, where do you want to go? What do you want to look different? Like, what are the things that you’re not doing right now because of this freeze response, this like poverty mindset? 

[00:10:31] Walter: It’s so much. What I often say is I’m currently standing in my dreams. I’m living in my dreams. My dream was just to survive the hood, have a wife, have a dog, have a kid, and have a house.

[00:10:46] I’m standing in when I was a kid, when I used to draw on a paper for an assignment, but not knowing, now what I was doing, but not knowing at the time.

[00:10:56] So to be quite transparent with you I struggle to know what that next dream is. Because I’ve, I’ve made it, so it’s almost like I’m coasting like I’m here.

[00:11:06] I’m not in survival mode, so it’s hard for me sometimes to see that, but to your question specifically, there’s a lot that I, I know that I would love to do.

[00:11:14] I can do and need to do. You know, right now I do a lot of individual work with clients. Group work is something I love. I have experience doing, that will decrease my time and widen my scope of work, you know, and with clientele. And also increases my cash flow, right? Well, it depends on insurance and other stuff, but that’s another topic.

I’ve been moved to write a book. I know that I have an amazing story. I have an amazing testimony. That’s something that I would love to do, haven’t been intentional about. I would love to host a men’s retreat. I’m very mindful of the issues and the impact on men, particularly Black men, and the need for spaces to be, not to be talked at, but to talk with on many topics and many levels.

[00:12:06] So there’s so much that I want to do, but paralysis analysis starts to kick in. It’s like, I can do all these things, and where do I start? And then it’s like, let me just stick to what I’m doing because it’s, it’s keeping the bills paid. Comfortable. It’s working until it’s not.

[00:12:22] Linzy: Yeah. Yeah. And when you were just talking a moment ago about, These pieces, like the groups, writing a book, doing retreats. What do you notice in your body? What’s happening with that when you go back to that place?

[00:12:35] Walter: I get a sense of, like inspiration. Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s more, I feel acceleration towards that. Yeah. That’s what I feel.

[00:12:43] Linzy: And how long can you stay with that feeling?

[00:12:45] Walter: Not long.

[00:12:46] Linzy: What happens?

[00:12:47] Walter: My mind goes to what it takes to do those things. And am I ready to do what it takes to do those things?

[00:12:58] Yeah, I think that’s where my mind goes, consciously and subconsciously.

[00:13:02] Linzy: Because what is the story about yourself when it comes to whether you have what it takes? Do you have what it takes to do those things? Or do you have a different narrative about yourself? 

[00:13:10] Walter: I certainly have what it takes, and I know I am beyond capable. I, I, I think that impostors come up of, are you truly equipped, you know, are you who you say you are, and I think about the way I live my life and, I often emphasize how much I practice what I preach and talk with my clients about and others.

[00:13:33] But I think a part of me becomes overwhelmed with the potential of that thing.

[00:13:40] Wow, this can be a big thing. And I think that causes me to withdraw and, ah, there’s too much to think about. Let me think about something that I can control.

[00:13:53] So I can respond to this email, or I can go get some gas in the car. I then quickly, divert my mind to something more, for lack of better words, tangible, I guess, where I don’t sit in that. It gets overwhelming.

[00:14:06] Linzy: Yeah. And what I’m hearing is you move to something that’s in your control. So when you think about those big things, that like impact, that inspiration. Is there an out-of-control that could go with that? If you’ve, if you followed that, like what’s threatening about that? 

[00:14:21] Walter: I think what is threatening about that is my thoughts on how I may be perceived, which comes to an image thing. Growing up, there were two sides, it was the side that I presented, and then it was the side of what was going on. People always assume things were great because of how I presented.

[00:14:43] Meanwhile, I go home to a mother who’s a drug addict. I go home to no running water. I go home to conditions that are like, That you shouldn’t have a kid living in, … And I’ve learned to tolerate and live through those conditions, where I think sometimes I don’t permit myself to bask in the other side of really what I’m retreating from.

[00:15:09] But, yeah, I think, I think it’s that two sides where I’m struggling with the image that’s perceived… 

[00:15:18] Linzy: That two sides, like help me understand more about what would the two sides be if you did have, if you’re more visible I think, is what I’m hearing. Like if you did bigger things, right, you write a book, you run groups, you run retreats. Tell me how the two sides or the fear of the two sides comes up. If you did those things now. 

[00:15:37] Walter: I think one piece of it is becoming so consumed that it decreases time with family, I’ve learned to value and appreciate that. Family, I think another part is I don’t know where this comes from, but finding out to be a fraud, as I’m talking out loud and thinking, I’m like, I don’t… Why would I even be found out to be a fraud when I’m living what I preach?

[00:16:01] Sometimes I’m just kind of answering myself here, but, but I think it’s this, this, maybe I’ll be a fraud, or maybe what I’m saying or presenting won’t be received well by others, Will I be able to sustain that momentum once I get there? Those would be the thoughts that come up. 

[00:16:26] Linzy: What I’m thinking about, and I mean, this is a very nervous system pattern for myself, even though coming from different stressors. But what I’m hearing is when you think about being big, taking up space, being seen, there’s, there’s a whole series of stories that pop up to tell you why that’s a bad idea, right?

[00:16:44] It’s like, there’s the imposter syndrome of what if you’re found out to be a fraud? Even though you can’t think about what, how, without even being true, right? But what if it detracts from my family? What if I can’t keep it up? What if I don’t know what to do? Right? Like there’s, there’s almost a whole army of stories that come up.

[00:16:59] They’re like, no, no. Don’t go that way. What are those parts of you want you to do instead? What is the safe path that you’re supposed to be taking according to those parts of you? Mm hmm.

[00:17:11] Walter: Yeah, the safe path is to not be disruptive. Think a part of me viewed those things as disrupting what I have going on. I’m laughing because my partner challenged me on this. Routines, that’s my bread and butter. Once I can find a routine, once I can find a rhythm, I’m like, let’s go. And I can, I can stick in that once I have that.

[00:17:39] The downside, is it can cause me to become stagnant and predictable, if you will, you know? So I think I’ve found myself, and have developed, A routine that works, I have a consistent income to cover my business bills and my house bills, which I need to increase, while we have this conversation, my health, I have a nice routine when it comes to taking care of my body.

[00:18:04] So when anything new comes, it takes me a minute to adjust and pivot because I have to unlearn how I’ve conditioned myself in this space and learn and be willing to adapt to that new thing.

[00:18:20] That goes to my trauma, right? I knew how to move to not go to jail. I know how to move to… I knew what to say,

[00:18:28] so that DCFS didn’t come to take us from our mom like I knew these things, so that became a pattern. So anytime anything is disrupted, I’m like, Whoa. So why disrupt something that’s working?

[00:18:40] Linzy: Yes, I mean, that’s a really good question. Why would it be worth it to write a book, to run groups, to do retreats? Why would that be worth it?

[00:18:51] Walter: Oh, wow, it would allow me to further operate in my purpose. In operating in my purpose, it would allow me to, leave the impact that I hope to leave. When my time expires on this earth, I think it will become relevant to a lot of men, boys, and women, who

[00:19:14] are too ashamed to talk about some of their hardships and some of the things that they’ve experienced, whether it was shame or fear out of whatever, to find the power within that and how it can bring out the best of them. I think, the benefit could be saving someone’s life, you know? And the work that I do, I’ve heard great testimonies from folks I’ve worked with in, whether it’s professionally or personally like…

[00:19:42] Hearing that helped me to reconsider this or hearing you share that helped me to reconcile that, So I think it can have a tremendous impact on many lives and, and be that legacy that’s left long after I’m gone.

[00:19:58] Linzy: I’m hearing this is an opportunity to live in your purpose.

[00:20:02] Walter: Absolutely

[00:20:03] Linzy: Right? I would think potentially for that little boy inside of you, It would be a real shock to think that you would be able to get to a point in life where not only do you, are you living the dream, but you’ve got a wife and a son who sounds very cute by the way, and a dog and a home, but you also get to craft a career that lets you live in your purpose, and dramatically positively impact the lives of people who are not understood by most people, right?

[00:20:28] Walter: Who has stories to tell that not everybody gets? Right? But you, you get it. What do you think about that? Like, if you think about that little boy seeing your life now, seeing where you are today, Yeah. Yeah. Little Walter will be astonished, by the life he lives today, having more freedom and flexibility. Anxiety is a lot lower, paranoia is a lot lower. Surviving looks different. He’ll be astonished to know that, what he prayed for happened, and it didn’t come, overnight, but it came with trust in the process.

[00:21:07] It came with, believing in himself and, it was the belief that I can control, I can control meaning, I can do all the school, I can attend extracurricular activities to keep myself busy, keep myself occupied. I can speak as if things are… Even though reality is what it is, I’m not oblivious to it, but I can speak into existence what it is that I desire and want and in time watch it come to fruition. So, yeah, I think he’ll be on the way. 

[00:21:40] Linzy: So thinking about that this is therapeutic work that you could do for months probably, right? Like there’s a lot here, but I’m thinking about, what is the version of your career and your life where little Walter knows that you’ve got this. Right? And you’ve got a life he couldn’t even imagine.

[00:21:59] And he gets to live there with you, right? He’s still around. He gets to live in your house with you, with your partner and your kid and your dog. But he doesn’t have to worry so much anymore. That part of you doesn’t have to run the show anymore. You don’t have to worry about putting on a certain face and survival and what’s going to happen next and saying the right thing.

[00:22:18] You’ve built a world where those things are no longer needed, right? You’re living, and you’re on the cusp of thriving, right? If little Walter can start to settle into that reality, maybe, you know, hang out on your couch or whatever, what would grown-up you want to do next? You are a business owner, entrepreneur, therapist, visionary, inspired parts of you. What do you want to see happen? What needs to happen next in your business?

[00:22:46] Walter: yeah. Oh, wow, I think, speaking to little Walter, I think what could happen next, what I would like to happen next It’s questions like that that floors me… Because I’m yeah, I struggle with that for whatever reason. That’s that blockage. And as you mentioned my nervous system kicking in. Because I’m so used to not thinking about myself. I’m so used to, worrying about, ensuring others have what they need, and I’ll get mine when I get mine. I’ll be okay.

[00:23:18] But just using my imagination here, One shifting, pivoting towards opportunities that will decrease the chances of me burning out. And as a therapist yourself, you understand the fact that… You talk about that in your other episodes, So that my time can be maximized, and I can continue to live and operate on purpose and not chase paper.

[00:23:46] I think I… Big Walter struggles with that of, I want to make sure I’m not just chasing paper, but chasing purpose or hustling, right? And I think when I grew up, you hustle, you hustle. I want to move intently. I want to be strategic in my moves. But more than anything, I would say as I’m, as I’m talking out loud, and I appreciate you giving me the space to just think out loud here…

[00:24:09] Just, pick something. And, just work it. And just give yourself a timeline on how long you want to work it. See what comes and, and use that as evidence to determine the next move.

[00:24:27] Linzy: There’s a saying in business which is something to the effect of, a ship in motion can turn, but a ship in the harbor cannot. Right. And so once we get going, if you get going down that path of putting the word out there to start a group, and you run one group and you’re like, nah, this needs to be a retreat, then you pivot towards retreat.

[00:24:41] Right? And if you get into that retreat, and you collect a couple of stories and you’re like, I need to write this down. I need to stop and prioritize, then you can pivot into the book. But you can only make those moves once you’ve started in motion, right? When we sit in the harbor, when we’re paralyzed and we’re looking at every path and we’re agonizing over, what each path is going to take and what’s the right path, we end up going nowhere, right?

[00:25:04] And so I wonder for you, what’s the first good enough step? What’s the first move that you can make even before the end of this week, that’s going to start to get your ship in motion?

[00:25:13] Walter: Reaching out to all of my clients to say, Hey, I’m offering groups. If you’re interested, click this button, and I’ll follow up with more information. 

[00:25:23] Linzy: Love it! So simple. Connect with these folks, you’ve already built connections with, they already love you. They already know what you do. And just seeing if you can start to have this new way, of serving them, and being with them. And I think that makes a lot of sense because as you’re moving towards the idea of like retreats and a book, those group conversations are going to give you so much inspiration and material to build the other pieces that it’s just, it’s like such a nice natural step.

[00:25:50] Walter: Certainly. 

[00:25:51] Linzy: How do you feel when you think about sending that email

[00:25:55]Walter: a part of me freezes… just a part of me. Because I’m like, okay, it’s the language… it’s you second-guessing yourself, right versus just doing the thing. But it, it certainly, You know, moves me in a direction that I need to go in to help continue to make decisions.

[00:26:11] Something that I’ve learned that I struggle with at times. I can have an idea. I can get some momentum on that. I can flesh it out on paper. And then it stops. Once, I’ve gotten it out, I no longer do anything with it.

[00:26:27] For groups, for example, I’ve drafted the email. I’ve had my eval, and my link ready to collect.

[00:26:33] So now that I’ve had it, in my mind, I’ve done it, but I haven’t sent it.

[00:26:38 So I struggled to, do the next thing to get it going. You would be surprised how many projects I’ve already completed but haven’t done the next thing.

[00:26:48] Linzy: Yeah, and that’s perfectionism. Paralysis. Yeah.

[00:26:53] Walter: Is that what that is? 

[00:26:54] Linzy: It could be. I mean we could dig into it more, but I see this a lot with folks who are smart, really talented, have a lot to offer, but there’s that like, but I could say it this way, but I could do it that way, but I could do this.

[00:27:05] And there’s… We get stuck, nothing happens. Right? So my, my strategy personally, I’ll tell you what I do around that. And I would suggest you do this. Sell it first. Then you have to do it, right? So like when I, started Money Skills for Therapists, I sold it first, and then I built the course as people did it. And I don’t have a choice, right?

[00:27:24] Like it’s like Wednesday, folks are going to show up. So I’ve got to like to have the lessons ready. I’ve got to do the videos, right? And that course that I built in 2018, doing it that way, selling it first. For so little money just to get it going. Selling it first, building it out. That’s still probably 70 percent of the course materials that are in that course today, right?

[00:27:44] I’ve replaced things. I’ve expanded things. I’ve updated things, but generally speaking, it was already in me, but I needed the pressure to get it out. Right? And I think the same with you, like if you sell it first if you say, let me know if you’re interested, or even I’m going to be running groups. There’s going to be a Monday group and a Wednesday group.

[00:28:00] You let me know which one you want to do, or it’s going to be Wednesdays. Click here to let me know if you’re interested. Here’s your payment link. We start December 1st, right? Then you have to do it because all these guys are going to be showing up, so you got to be there,

[00:28:12] Walter: That’s so true.

[00:28:13] Linzy: What do you think about that idea of just doing it?

[00:28:16] Walter: Yeah, and that’s it. Just got to rip the band-aid off.

[00:28:19] Linzy: It is.

[00:28:19] Walter: And I can hype myself up and be like, Alright, go! But no, you, you’re right. It’s, to get the buy-in, and therefore the accountability.

[00:28:29] Linzy: Yeah, there’s a few ways to keep yourself motivated around these things it’s scary to put something out there and be like, I have a thing. And then maybe people will go for it, and maybe they won’t. First of all, as soon as you put it out there, you’re going to get feedback on what the interest is.

[00:28:44] Did you phrase it right? Did you put it on the wrong day of the week? Like, immediately you’re going to start to conversation. So now you have a conversation. Now you have something you’re talking about. Right. But there’s another framing that I think yeah. It’s relevant for you, which is if you’re people-oriented, if you’re always about helping other people, and it’s hard to like, think about yourself, if you don’t offer these groups and retreats, and if you don’t write this book, you are doing a disservice to the people who need these things from you.

[00:29:11] You are doing a disservice to these men who need to hear your story and who need to see how far they can come, and who need to learn the strategies and the techniques and the ways of thinking that are also going to change their lives. If you don’t put it out there, these men are going to stay stuck where they are.

[00:29:26] Walter: That’s a good reframe.

[00:29:27] Linzy: Yeah. What do you notice when I say that?

[00:29:29] Walter: I get perky. I’m like good. 

[00:29:33] Linzy: Let’s engage your like caretaker part. You owe it to these guys.

[00:29:37] Walter: Yeah, that’s it. That’s exactly it right there. What comes to mind is it allows me to lean into the very thing that I enjoy. And I love showing up for others. So just having that reframe, it’s like, it’s that aha. Yeah, I appreciate that.

[00:29:51] Linzy: So Walter, coming to the end of our conversation, what are you taking away from our time today?

[00:29:56] Walter: Yeah, some, some great stuff. One, Sell it first. And then do the work after, which I think that’s so good. And the last thing you said, honestly, if I don’t put it out there, I’m not meeting the needs of the people that need it the most. Which goes against my purpose, which is to leave an impact, leave legacy,

[00:30:18] Even in my physical absence, I see that as a way of me doing that. I’ll also say my takeaway is, to keep having that conversation with my younger self. Yeah, I support others and coach others, and in doing that, sometimes, I struggle with that with myself. So. It got me thinking about getting back to an activity that I’ve been doing, you know, with me and my younger self, you know, so yeah, that.

[00:30:42] Linzy: And I will say that professional growth, like growing your business, leaning into your entrepreneurship, lots of therapeutic opportunities, stuff is going to come up. So if you don’t have a great therapist in place, I would suggest you do that now. Because there are just so many opportunities for parts of us to freak out and try to stop us and tell us terrible things about ourselves and try to backtrack into something small and safe, but ultimately not what we want.

[00:31:06] So, line up a great therapist if you don’t have one already. You’re going to need them for all this great stuff you’re going to build.

[00:31:11] Walter: Yes, yes, that’s essential.

[00:31:13] Linzy: Great. Thank you so much, Walter, for coming on the podcast.

[00:31:15] Walter: Of course, thanks for having me and I appreciate the candid discussion here. 

[00:31:34] Linzy: I so appreciate Walter coming on the podcast today and sharing his story and digging into it together. It’s a vulnerable thing to do, to come on a podcast and talk about your life. And something that I’m reflecting on after my conversation is that gap between surviving and living and thriving.

[00:31:53] And Walter and many therapists in private practice were in that living space where the money’s there, your needs are met. Maybe you’re spending money on things you don’t need like there are extras, but you’re not thriving, right? You’re not feeling the abundance of your life and what it takes to thrive sometimes is that more expanded version, following the dreams that are in there that we could stifle, and we could always put off but are going to cause fulfillment.

[00:32:21] It also makes me think about being present, actually catching up to yourself, and being in your life leads to thriving. Being able to savor and enjoy and be present in your life, even without more money. And even if you don’t change your schedule, you still can thrive. Thrive by letting yourself be in what you’ve built, right?

[00:32:44] Catching up to yourself is so, so valuable and it takes so long for all of us. And there’s trauma work involved to get there. And there is continually reminding yourself and learning new ways to be. It takes a lot to get there. But I’m excited for Walter, and what he has to offer the world.

[00:33:00] All these great ideas that he has. I’m excited for him to send this email, get the ball rolling, and make himself do the thing, which we all need to do sometimes. So thank you to Walter for coming on the podcast. You can follow me on Instagram at money, nuts, and bolts. And if you are enjoying the podcast, it is so helpful for me.

[00:33:17] If you tell a friend about it; tell a colleague. The more people that we can get listening to the podcast, the more people who are going to be benefiting from these kinds of conversations. Therapists are such lovely, lovely humans. And we all deserve to have money working for us in our lives. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today. 

Picture of Hi, I'm Linzy

Hi, I'm Linzy

I’m a therapist in private practice, and a the creator of Money Skills for Therapists. I help therapists and health practitioners in private practice feel calm and in control of their finances.

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