00:00:00 – Linzy Bonham 

What are the fears that come up about the idea of, let’s, let’s say next month you take a month off. What are the fears about what would happen? 

00:00:10 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I just, like, notice in my body when you asked that question, like, it almost felt like, wow, will my clients be there when I get back? 

00:00:18 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. 

00:00:19 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

And, yeah, like, kind of wondering that question. And also in the same way as an artist, too, like, will people forget me? Right. Will people not know that I’m around and available for work? You know? And so, yeah, there is this feeling of, like, do I have to start over again? Or like, yeah. 

00:00:35 – Linzy Bonham 

Welcome to Money Skills for Therapists, the podcast that helps therapists and health practitioners in private practice go from money confusion and shame to calm, clarity and confidence with their finances. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by numbers or avoided looking at your business money, you’re in the right place. I’m Linzy Bonham, therapist turned money coach and creator of Money Skills for Therapists. Before we jump in, check out my free on demand masterclass. You’ll find the link in the show notes or@moneynutsandbolts.com under masterclass. It’s the best first step to finally feeling empowered with money in your private practice. Let’s get started. Hello and welcome back to the podcast. Today’s episode is a coaching episode with Edgar Fabien Frias. Edgar is a graduate of many Skills for Therapists. They are in podcast speak, a friend of the pod. Edgar has submitted a couple questions over the years for Feelings and Finances episodes. They are a lovely human therapist based in California, as well as a visual artist. And today, Edgar and I dig into the challenges of taking time off. How do you take time away from your business? How do you trust that what you’ve built is still going to be there, that your clients are still going to be there? We get into the questions and obstacles that are coming up for Edgar as they consider taking some significant time away from their practice. So if you are someone who finds it hard to take time off, if you know you need a break but find that you keep putting that off into the future, this is a great episode for you to listen to. Here is my conversation with Edgar Fabian Frias. So, Edgar, welcome to the podcast. 

00:02:24 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It’s such a dream to be on this podcast. 

00:02:29 – Linzy Bonham 

Well, we were just chatting about how it almost feels like you have been on the podcast because I’ve featured your questions a couple times. And also you and I have just been able to have so much face to Face time. That I’m like, oh, we haven’t recorded a podcast episode together, but emotionally, it. 

00:02:44 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Feels like we’ve definitely been in conversation. 

00:02:45 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes, absolutely. So, Edgar, for our conversation today, what would be helpful for us to dig into? 

00:02:52 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I feel like I have two questions, like, one of them being, I’ve been in private practice now for a little over two years, and I’ve made a lot of changes and feel really good about where it’s at. Like, it feels really stable, and it feels really almost like it’s like running itself, even though I definitely still have to put energy into it for it to keep going. And because of that, I am in a place where I’m both feeling like I need to take time off. I need to, like, give myself permission to do that. And I’m definitely coming up against resistance. And at the same time, I’m also, like, wanting to create more, and I’m, like, feeling inspired to, like, expand my business and expand myself, and I feel like there’s a connection here, and so I kind of just want to explore these two things. 

00:03:39 – Linzy Bonham 

Absolutely. Yeah. So tell me about that. Wanting to take a break and the resistance. What’s happening with that? 

00:03:46 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, so just a little bit of background of myself. I come from a family of folks who never had businesses, and so I never really thought I would be a business owner. I kind of came into this almost, like, unintentionally, like, really feeling like, I guess I’m a business owner now. Right. And because of that, I really worked hard in learning about business and finance and, like, getting myself to a place where I feel like I understand my businesses well. And I have two businesses. I’m both a therapist in private practice. I also am a visual artist and do exhibitions and, like, I do artist lectures and events and stuff. And so I’ve kind of gotten myself to a place where, like, I’m like, I understand what it means to be a business owner. I’m, like, kind of putting my ducks in a row and getting myself financially stable. But it’s still something that feels. I guess there’s a part of me that feels, like, afraid or feels like I’m still so new at this or I still don’t know enough about this to, in a sense, have that comfort and ease when I feel like as a worker, I’d be very joyous and very liberal with my pto. Right. Like, I’m gonna take time because I know it’s there, but there’s still a part of me that’s like, does that exist in My businesses, Is that allowed? Will things fall apart? And so I think that is where some of that fear comes up. 

00:05:08 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. The word that’s coming up for me is trust. Like, trusting what you’ve built, that it’s actually solid. Because I’m hearing that this is something you’ve had to figure out on your own. Right. Like accessing resources, like, you know, the work that we’ve done together and other resources. You’ve had to work hard because you never had the role model of what being a business owner could look like. Right. You didn’t grow up with that. So you’ve built it. You’ve built it through your own learning and your own work. But now it’s like, can you trust it? Will it still be there if you step away for a minute? 

00:05:40 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yes. 

00:05:40 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. Yeah. Because I am curious, what is the narrative that comes up? What are the fears that come up about the idea of, let’s. Let’s say next month you take a month off? What are the fears about what would happen? 

00:05:55 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I just, like, notice in my body when you ask that question, like, it almost felt like, wow, will my clients be there when I get back? 

00:06:02 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. 

00:06:04 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

And, yeah, like, kind of wondering that question. And also, in the same way, as an artist, too, like, will people forget me? Right. Will people not know that I’m around and available for work? You know? And so, yeah, there is this feeling of, like, do I have to start over again? Or, like. 

00:06:17 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah, okay. Okay. Because what I’m noticing is it the fear seems specifically around being forgotten, like, losing connection. But, yeah. Can you tell me a little bit more about the content of that? Like, how would your clients forget you or not be there? What would happen? What’s the story? 

00:06:36 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Well, I think, you know, part of it is that thinking that my clients, they expect to see me and, you know, they’re getting something out of our work together. And as I said, have been in practice for a little over two years, and I have not taken, really, a break. I have taken maybe, like, a week or two off, but I haven’t really taken, like, a whole month, you know, And I think even, like two weeks, maybe total, I don’t think I’ve taken. And I think there is this feeling that because I’ve made, like, an agreement with my clients that I need to be there for them. And if I’m not there for, like, a month, let’s say they’re gonna, like, need to get their support somewhere else. Right. And so. And even though, like, I. As I’m saying this, I’M like, also remembering that I have some clients that I’m working with that I’ve seen for those entire two years and have had their own time off, you know, and so they have come back. They’ve had not forgotten me. But there is that, I guess, that feeling in me of like they’re. They need me and so I need to be there, you know? 

00:07:31 – Linzy Bonham 

Right, right. And I am curious about the clients you work with. Do they need you every week? You know, I don’t know the profile of the folks you work with. Right. Tell me about your typical client. How urgent is the work? Is this suicide prevention? Tell me about the work you’re doing. 

00:07:51 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I would say most of my clients are pretty stable. And I work with different folks. Like, I work with folks who are like, highly sensitive neurodiverse. I work with queer and trans folks. And I also work with people who are either artists. And I do have some folks who are in, like, the poly E and M and kink community. And we’re working on relationship stuff. We’re working on family interpersonal dynamics and also roles as an artist or as a person. Right. And so none of it is like, emergency work. 

00:08:21 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah, I’m hearing that. 

00:08:22 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

So I don’t feel like. Yeah, they don’t. Like they would be okay if I took a little bit of time off. 

00:08:26 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes, yes. Yeah. Because there are certain circumstances where we certainly would want to think about continuation of care. Like, if somebody’s doing an intensive DBT program, you don’t just leave for a month. But I am hearing that the things that people are working on, they’re going to be folks who are generally stable and higher. Higher functioning. I would assume so. Yeah. Like, when you notice that. That your clients are. They’re adults. They would be okay without you. They’re okay without you. I wish I knew how many hours there were in a week. Do you know how many hours there are in a week? I want to do the math of, like, you see them one hour a week, they are without you every other hour of that week. And they’re okay. What do you. What do you notice with the. That information being more present? 

00:09:08 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I definitely noticed, like, a softening and I feel like a. A little bit less weight and kind of an understanding of like, yeah, it’s. It’s okay if you take time off. Like, they’ll be okay and they’ll be able to continue when you get back. 

00:09:23 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. On the flip side, I’m curious about what could actually be positive or helpful from your client’s perspective. About you taking, let’s say, a month off for a little sabbatical. 

00:09:33 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. I would say it could give people time to integrate. It could give people time to explore other things. And I have noticed that when clients take time off on their own, that they do sometimes come back with either, like, new insights or they feel reinvigorated or they’ve made progress on some goals that we have together. And so I have noticed how it’s been helpful for them to take time off. 

00:09:55 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. A little bit of integration time can be a good thing. 

00:09:58 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. 

00:09:58 – Linzy Bonham 

Because it’s also a chance for them to practice skills and make observations without you being there all the time. Right. Like, there can be this little bit of a dependency that we develop as therapists just because of the regularity of the work. So it’s actually, like, a little bit of them getting to use their skills. Yeah. And what do you notice thinking about that, that it could actually be beneficial to your clients? 

00:10:21 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I definitely noticed a little bit of excitement of, like, oh, my gosh, like, yeah, this. It could be really great for us to do this and actually could be really supportive in the work that we’re doing. And so it’s. I feel like the therapist. Hat part of me is like, oh, wow. Like, I would be interested in this as a therapist to see what would happen. 

00:10:40 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So then I’m curious now if we come back to the idea again of you taking a month off, what rises up now? 

00:10:49 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I definitely still feel like the. It’s not fear, but more of the unknown there. But it doesn’t feel scary. It’s feeling more, like, potential. And so, like, I feel, like, a little bit excited and both potential in terms of my clients, but also potential in terms of myself of, like, what could happen for me, you know, too. 

00:11:08 – Linzy Bonham 

Because I am curious. Are there any parts of you that have objections about you deserving time off or time off being a good thing? Like, have you gotten to the place where you know that time off is good and you deserve it? And. Or is there any objections inside about that? 

00:11:24 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I definitely have, like, capitalist conditioning, you know, And I think a lot, like, a lot of us do, where it’s, like, it does feel hard to rest and to not take time off. And I definitely know that there are parts of me that get really upset if I’m not working on projects. Like, I’m someone who’s kind of. I feel like I historically have overloaded myself as a person because there are. There is a part of me that loves that, like, especially as like in my art practice, for example, a lot of people comment to me like, how do you do so much stuff? And it is a. There is a part of me that loves having lots of things to work on. And so I think that part also gets maybe uncomfortable. But I also, like, I think theoretically and also even values wise, I do understand how important it is to not work and to rest and to let your mind wander and play. Those are also big values of mine. So kind of in between, I would. 

00:12:22 – Linzy Bonham 

Say, because I’m hearing there would actually be a strong values alignment to you taking a good amount of time off. Right. And something that occurs to me as I think about that part of you that loves projects and is maybe a little bit anxious about that idea. It’s not to say you can’t do any projects while you’re off. You’re not going to be working in your business. Right. So let’s go to that second piece then that you mentioned about wanting to grow and expand the business. I’m curious, could taking more time off support that? Can these things actually dovetail together? Tell me about how you see those things being related. 

00:12:56 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I do feel like I’m needing that type of space where I’m kind of at the precipice of wanting to create either new offerings or new ways to connect with people. And I do feel like I have the seedlings of those things. But I do need space to let them develop and grow. And I also have. One of the reasons I’ve been thinking about really wanting to take time off is I was offered a book deal by someone and so I need to spend time working on my book. And I’ve just noticed that when I am working as a therapist or working on my art practice and having both of those kind of take up my time, it’s hard to make the space to really work on writing. And writing takes so much time. And so I’ve really been thinking, like I could really benefit from having time off both in terms of working on this project and also just dreaming or having time to explore things and getting inspired. And it feels important because I, as I said, I do feel like my businesses are in a place where they’re wanting to mutate and grow. And I really feel like they deserve that time and space to really honor what they’re wanting to. To be or how they’re wanting to emerge. 

00:14:06 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. And there is such a power to stepping away from being in the everyday and letting those things that haven’t had space. You know, those seedlings in Your mind, see which ones start to take shape. And I worked with a therapist a few years ago when I was starting this business full time. I had a lot of anxiety. There was, you know, all the feelings. And something that he would talk about is letting the programs run in the background. Like, sometimes you can’t force it. Like, you can’t sit down and do it. You can’t work all the time. But you’re out for a walk and the program’s kind of running in the background and suddenly an idea floats up or a connection you haven’t made before because your mind is still working on it. But we can’t be always actively working. Right. We can’t always be using that frontal part of our brain. There’s a finite capacity there. And especially in terms of creativity. It makes me think about emdr, which I used to practice. When we allow our brain to free, associate and get out of our normal ways of thinking. All these new connections are possible. But we can’t do that when we’re in our normal thinking, working mode all the time. So, yeah, I see this as twofold. But also something that’s come up for me as you’re mentioning the book is I’m like, you gotta write a book, too. Is that time off, Edgar? 

00:15:15 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I feel like it’s time off in my world where it’s like, if I’m working on one project that does feel very relaxed. But also, maybe I need both a sabbatical to enjoy myself and also some time to work on this book, too. 

00:15:28 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes. Because I could see those also being two very different types of energy. Right. And I have not written a book. I’m considering writing a book. But all I know from writers and what I hear about writing is I think about kind of you and I are both Cal Newport fans. So thinking about Cal Newport and this idea of deep work and really being kind of having all those files open in your brain that you need to do to do creative, generative kind of work. And that’s a very specific space to be. Which is actually not the kind of restful space we were just talking about with the programs running in the background. That’s very much like a fully online space. And so, yeah, it does make me curious about the different things we’re talking about. Maybe is the writing the book a different chunk of time away from your business or the time is allocated to that in a very specific way that supports that. That’s actually separate from maybe having another two weeks to just hang out with the people that you love and Go for walks or go to a great gallery you haven’t been to in a long time, whatever that is. What do you think about that idea of those maybe being different needs? 

00:16:28 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. I completely would understand the importance of that. And I feel like that feels really exciting to, like, imagine what it could be to have actual time to. Yeah. Just rest and explore and get inspired. I do feel like that is so important. And I think what’s coming up is I’m remembering in terms of, like, building and working on my business. Like, when I first got that idea of there’s working in your business and working on your business and really starting to prioritize and, like, make space for working on my business and witnessing, like, how that has transformed my business. 

00:17:06 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes. 

00:17:06 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I’m feeling that connection where, like, it’s something I didn’t even think about before. Right. And when it emerged and came into my life, it really shifted things. And so in a similar way, like. Yeah, I’m imagining just, like, giving myself space to wander and to play and to explore could be so generative for me. Yes. For my businesses. 

00:17:27 – Linzy Bonham 

So if we think about now moving towards more of an action space, because I know that this is something that intellectually, some parts of you were already on board with this conversation. 

00:17:36 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Totally. 

00:17:37 – Linzy Bonham 

But there’s a big gap between us knowing something could be good and actually doing it. If we think practically. Let’s break out the writing space from the restful space. How much time do you want to set aside to focus on the book project? How much time off knowing yourself and how you work? What would be a nice block of time to put aside for that project? Project. 

00:17:59 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. I feel like I like the two weeks. Two weeks does feel good. 

00:18:04 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. 

00:18:04 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Knowing what I have to do. Yeah. I feel like two weeks feels good. 

00:18:09 – Linzy Bonham 

So two weeks for writing your book. That is not time off, to be clear. That is author time. You’re going to take two weeks of your author time, and then what about for that restful, playful time? How much time do you need for that? 

00:18:24 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I, like, I immediately heard, like, at least two weeks. 

00:18:27 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes. Okay. Minimum. Minimum two. Okay. 

00:18:31 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. 

00:18:32 – Linzy Bonham 

And do these things happen one after the other, or are these two things that happen in separate time periods? 

00:18:39 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I feel like they could happen in separate time periods. 

00:18:41 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. 

00:18:42 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I’m feeling like I know one with writing. I do, because of, like, you know, being inspired by Cal Newport. I do want to, like, go somewhere different, you know, like, put myself in a different environment. Like, I really. I have some ideas around that. And I feel like two weeks was Like a good kind of chunk of time. And for the other time, I would like for it to be maybe have a little bit of travel but also have some restful at home time too. 

00:19:04 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay, so which of these needs to happen first? 

00:19:07 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

The book, I feel. 

00:19:08 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. Yeah. I was wondering if you have maybe some deadlines with the book. 

00:19:12 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

They’re very loose, but. Yeah, but they exist. Yeah. Whereas my playtime doesn’t have deadlines. 

00:19:19 – Linzy Bonham 

But also we know that there’s parts of you that are needing it. Right. So we don’t want to put that off too far. But I’m hearing okay, so two weeks to work on the book comes first, which I could also see it is going to be restful in a different way. Right. Because you’re going to be out of your normal day to day. It’s going to be exciting and rich. And you know, I’m a project person too, so I understand the yum of projects. So when does that need to happen? How soon does your book time need to happen? 

00:19:44 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

You know, soonish. Like I was already like in my head kind of planning for like late August, early September as like a kind of time that I could potentially do that, take those two weeks off. And I was already kind of planning in my mind with my clients too. And so I was at some point going to bring it up once I like decided, you know, like when I’m going to do this. 

00:20:05 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. 

00:20:05 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. And yeah, that feels good. 

00:20:09 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay, so that’ll be end of the summer. And you know, with where we are right now with recording, you’d be able to give folks more than a month’s notice, which is lots of time I think, for the caseload that you have. I will also say this probably isn’t relevant for you, but I took a six week honeymoon when I got married, which is almost 10 years ago now, crazy to say. And I did have some clients where six weeks was not an amount of time that they could go without support. And so in that case I did connect them with colleagues of mine and my highest needs clients saw other people while I was away, which was also interesting and helpful too because then my colleagues, we were able to consult afterwards with the client’s consent and get a colleague’s perspective on a client, which is also really valuable and doesn’t really happen. So that was an unseen bonus of it. But I will just say that’s always an option too. Right. We are always able to set somebody up. Or maybe your clients might have other work that they’ve been wanting to do that they’re not doing because they’re seeing you that they could do during some time that you’re away. So sometimes that’s clinically indicated. I’m saying that too, for folks listening in case you have, you know, higher needs clients who are less high functioning or stable. But I’m hearing book August, September, and then what about your playful wander time? When does that happen? 

00:21:26 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, I have been feeling like towards the end of the year, maybe in like November. I feel like November feels okay to take some time. My partner and I have both been wanting to travel. I’m going to New York in October. I know that, but that’s like, more work. But I was thinking in November of us taking time to actually, like, go somewhere for fun. My partner’s sister lives abroad in England, and so we’ve been thinking about going to London and maybe spending some time in Europe. And so that would be a nice time to. Yeah, I would love to, like, not be working and just like, be able to enjoy myself on a trip like that. 

00:22:06 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. So November. Ish. Heading to Europe for a couple weeks. 

00:22:12 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah. 

00:22:12 – Linzy Bonham 

Okay. Okay. What do you notice thinking about that? 

00:22:14 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

It feels good, it feels exciting, and I do feel like the. I know. I’m noticing that there were parts of me that were like, kind of already planning this. And in a sense, it feels really good to feel clear about it. And I’m noticing, like, almost no hesitation, no fear, just like, okay, this. This feels right. Like, this feels good. 

00:22:35 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah. And then financially, is your practice already set up to cover these leaves? Are you going to have to do a little bit of rejigging your systems? How is that going to work? 

00:22:45 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Yeah, it’s interesting because I. I was building a big financial bucket in my private practice and I recently got really excited by a training, as happens, you know, and my bucket went down. And so I do feel like I’m slowly building it back up. But thankfully, because of the work that we’ve done together, I just financially feel pretty stable. 

00:23:09 – Linzy Bonham 

Right. 

00:23:09 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Because even if it’s not in my business, it’s in other places. Right. And so I feel like that is like, one of the rewards of, like, really working on my finances is that even if my business can’t handle it, it’d be amazing if my business could handle all of it. But I just know that I. I can personally handle it. 

00:23:24 – Linzy Bonham 

Great. So the money. The money will be there. You’ve built the systems to make the money be there, which is. Makes me so happy. I love this so much. I know. 

00:23:34 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

And I honestly as like, you Know someone who was so talented by money and felt so out of control with it. It’s been so amazing to be on the other side of it and be like, oh, my gosh, I’m comfortable with money. And I also feel like I have this ability to dream. This is actually something I was thinking about earlier this morning was what’s on the other side of, like, stress and anxiety of money, you know? And it is just, like, ability to dream and to imagine. And I think that’s like, also why I am in a place where I feel like even the possibility of, like, I can have more financial stability, I can have more financial success. And that is huge, too, because I think it is all, like, on the other side of that, like, fear around money, that there is also possibility with money. There’s also dreaming with money, too. 

00:24:23 – Linzy Bonham 

Yes. Yeah. I think. I think the charge that can make money so fraught and stressful, like, all that energy, once it transforms, is so much possibility and potential. Like, money’s powerful, right? So it can be very powerful in the negative. And now you’re on the other side where it’s like, there’s so, so much potential there because of what you’ve managed to do. So, Edgar, coming towards the end of our conversation, what are you. What are you noticing? 

00:24:50 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

I’m just noticing one, like, a feeling of gratitude just for having had this conversation and feeling clarity. And I’m also noticing, like, bubbling up this, like, noticing how excited I am around finances and, like, vocation. And it’s one of the, like, little seedlings that’s in there. Is that one of my first jobs ever as a therapist was as a vocational counselor, and I’ve left it because, like, now I do, like, somatic therapy and existential, spiritual, like, therapy, but I feel like that vocational counselor part of me is, like, very excited by the idea of work and money. And so I do feel like that’s one of the little seedlings that’s in there of, like, wanting to support other people, having noticed how much it’s improved and changed my own life and so wanting to, like, help other people be able to reach that. And so I’m noticing that, like, excitement there, too, as we were, like, finishing this conversation. 

00:25:45 – Linzy Bonham 

Yeah, sparks like that should be followed. There’s always so much fun within those sparks. Edgar, thank you so much for joining me today. It is, like, such a pleasure to actually have you on the podcast as a guest, but to also, like, it’s. It’s been such a pleasure to be able to witness your growth over the couple years that I’ve gotten to know you so far. So I’m just so excited with where you are and writing a book. You’re gonna do your writer’s retreat, you’re gonna live that Cal Newport life that you and I listen to so much, but also being able to just explore and play and nurture all these seedlings. You have done immense work in this area, and it’s just so beautiful to see it paying off for you. 

00:26:27 – Edgar Fabián Frías 

Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much, Linzy. And I just want to thank you for all the work that you do. And your podcast is one of the first podcasts I ever heard, when I started to dream about having a different kind of private practice. And just want to thank you for how much you’ve helped me on this journey and all the folks that you help. And I definitely am constantly recommending your work to people because I know how transformative it is. 

00:26:53 – Linzy Bonham 

Thank you. Thanks, Edgar. Thanks for coming on the podcast today. Something that sticks out to me from the conversation with Edgar is the stories that we can make about our clients, like, the narratives about them and kind of how much they need us or in what ways they need us. It’s so easy as therapists to be overly attuned to the vulnerabilities of our clients because, of course, we sit with them in the most vulnerable parts of them. You know, we hear about all the things that are hard and not working or all the things that have been really difficult in their lives. And what we forget and can forget is that they are resilient humans and, generally speaking, adults who might actually benefit from having time away from us. As Edgar eventually settled on that it could actually be great for their clients to have some time away from therapy and have time to integrate and implement and try out the skills on their own outside of that regular rhythm. But it is so easy for us to make up some stories about our clients and the terrible things that will happen if we take time away from them. And generally speaking, when we actually do take time off, we are modeling to our clients that it is important to take care of yourself. You know, our clients see what we do, they hear what we say, but more importantly, they see what we do. And when we never take time away, when we don’t show them that we’re living expansive lives, they know that on some level, you know, that we are someone who works all the time and isn’t actually out exploring and enjoying the world, as we are often supporting our clients to be able to do so. There’s also, I think a beautiful alignment piece there. When we do take actual time off and we tell our clients that we’re taking time off and maybe they know that we’re going away to Europe for a couple weeks, we’re showing them that we are also living life and that it is important to live life and it’s not just something to talk about, but it’s something to actually do. So I think there’s a lot of beautiful benefits here for Edgar’s clients when they take that time away to work on the book and to go to Europe. And so helpful just to be able to to unpack those stories and remind ourselves that our clients can actually benefit when we take time away from them. And as I mentioned in the conversation with Edgar, if they are folks who cannot be away from therapy for a few weeks, we can also arrange for them to work with somebody else. We’re not the only therapists out there. So I’m so excited for Edgar and all the amazing things that they’re going to be doing with their time in the coming months. Thanks so much for joining me today. I’m Linzy Bonham, therapist turned money coach and creator of Money Skills for Therapists. If you’re ready to go from money confusion and shame to feeling clear and empowered, my Free On Demand Masterclass is the best place to start. You’ll learn my four step framework to get your private practice finances finally working for you. Register today using the link in the show notes or go to moneynutsandbolts.com under masterclass. I look forward to supporting you.