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117FF: How to Adjust Financial Goals When Life Happens

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In this Episode...

Have you ever had your financial goals disrupted by unexpected events? In today’s Feelings & Finances episode, Linzy addresses a question from listener Jennie whose goal to pay off her student loan by her 40th birthday was disrupted by health issues. Jennie asks Linzy what to do when a major financial goal gets derailed.

Join Linzy as she discusses how to handle financial setbacks and adjust our goals when life doesn’t go as planned. We’ll discuss the importance of acknowledging and processing the grief and frustration that come with unmet expectations, and how to reframe these setbacks into opportunities for growth. Tune in to hear Linzy’s strategies to stay resilient and move forward with new goals.

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Follow the prompts to record your question. When you finish your recording, enter your name and email to submit the recording. You can also submit your question directly to Linzy’s SpeakPipe inbox: https://www.speakpipe.com/MoneySkillsForTherapists 

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Linzy: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Feelings and Finances mini series on the Money Skills for Therapists podcast.

[00:00:09] These episodes are all about me answering your questions. The wonderful therapists, health practitioners, coaches, the listeners of the Money Skills for Therapists podcast. And today’s question comes from Jennie Vila. Here’s her question.

[00:00:23] Jennie: Hi, Linzy. This is Jennie Vila. I graduated from Money Skills for Therapists about a year ago, and I have been continuing to improve my regular maintenance of my finances. And one of my big goals that we had discussed when I was finishing MSFT last year was to pay off my student loan by my 40th birthday, which is now about five months away.

[00:00:49] And in this time, I have had some health issues come up that have prevented me from working so hard toward that goal. And I’m feeling really frustrated and bummed out about It’s a likelihood that I’m not going to pay off that debt by my 40th birthday. And so I think that talking about the feelings and frustrations of having to readjust when life happens would be something that I could use your expertise in.

[00:01:21] And it’s so hard because the finish line, that zero dollar amount is so close, yet it feels so far away. So if this is something that you think we could discuss and help other people with, I would really appreciate it. Thanks. Bye.

[00:01:37] Linzy: Hi, Jennie. Thank you so much for your question. I feel like that was an emotional rollercoaster for me, that question, hearing and then remembering your goal and then hearing that you’ve had health issues. I’m sorry to hear that. And then to hear that that has impacted your life. likelihood of hitting that goal and like the frustration that comes with that, seeing that it’s so close.

[00:01:57] And yet at this point, you’re probably not going to kind of make it by this deadline that you set. So, I mean, the first thing that comes to mind for me is how we think about goals. My good friend, Maegan Megginson, who’s been on this podcast many times… We’ve had this conversation many times, Jennie, as things have happened in the business.

[00:02:16] I like set, say like a launch date, for instance. At one point I set a launch date for a mastermind called the Intentional Therapist Mastermind. And I was like so excited about it. And then I also had a series of health issues.

[00:02:31] I had a series of pregnancy losses. It was quite devastating and kind of the third one happened right when I was about to launch this mastermind, this goal that I’d set, right? This is going to happen now. And I launched… and when you launch a course, you know, you put it out to the world, people start responding, and people are responding.

[00:02:51] And I realized I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I don’t have this in me. Life has served up something else, right? Something that we haven’t anticipated. Lauren Selfridge, who’s another colleague of mine, she had a great podcast called This is Not What I Ordered for folks living with chronic illness.

[00:03:06] And that’s very much the experience of that kind of moment where you’re like, this is not what I ordered. This is not my plan. I was supposed to be doing X. In my case, I was supposed to be launching this wonderful mastermind. I’m supposed to be excited about all these folks, you know, applying to work with me.

[00:03:19] In your case, it’s like, I’m supposed to be paying off this debt. I had this amazing plan. I’m going to pay off my debt by the time I’m 40. It’s like such a beautiful, tidy goal. And sometimes that is not what life is. serves to us and it is frustrating and it is grief inducing. There’s grief there, right?

[00:03:35] Because not only are we grieving that we’re not going to do this certain thing on the timeline but we’re not doing that because something shitty has been happening, right? There has been issues. There’s been health issues, there’s been loss and so I think there’s a two pronged approach here. Like the frustration is probably part of grief, right?

[00:03:53] The frustration is you had this beautiful plan, you were working to this plan, and then these really hard things have been happening, right? And I’m sure there’s many losses that have gone with these health issues, Jennie, probably not just this particular goal, but part of it is being with that grief.

[00:04:08] And I know for myself, I grieved those pregnancy losses for a long time. Very long time. And I also had to not do that mastermind. I had to cancel it. I just realized like I did not have the capacity, and I had to let that go. And ultimately I actually let go of that program, period. I never ended up running that program because by the time I went to run the next program, I decided to do something different.

[00:04:28] So that just never happened. In your case, it is going to happen because you have a goal of paying something down. That debt is still there. It’s not going away. So part of it is accepting, right? It’s getting to that more like acceptance place with grief of the shitty thing has happened. It’s not what you wanted, but it is what happened instead of what you wanted.

[00:04:48] The second piece is, to go back to, as I was referencing my friend Maegan Megginson, she’s always reminded me that deadlines are arbitrary. We made them up. You made up that goal, right? It’s such a cool goal. And I remember talking with you about this goal, and it’s such an exciting goal to like hit a big milestone like that and line it up with another milestone.

[00:05:08] Like what a nice, beautiful synchronicity, a beautiful package. If that is not going to happen, you get to make up a new goal because you made up that first goal, right? Like you get to have the power over the narrative of what happens here, right? We could have the narrative of this thing never happened.

[00:05:25] It was terrible. it was a big disappointment. I’m still disappointed about it. Or we can have a narrative that’s something to the effect of this really shitty thing happened. It was hard. I worked through that, and then I made this thing happen in a different way. In my case, my story is and then I ran the Money Boss Mastermind instead the next year, and it was great, and it was awesome, and I had so much fun.

[00:05:45] And you know, it’s… The ending, you’re not there yet, but it’s like, what do you want the ending to be? Is it that you had a goal to pay down your debt by your 40th birthday? And you didn’t quite get there because you had some health problems, but you paid it down by, I don’t know, your 40th birthday and four months, right?

[00:06:00] Or your 40th birthday and six months, or some other milestone, but you paid it down by your anniversary of that year. Like you get to make it up. Goals are made up. We make them up, and we get to remake them up if life gets in the way of us hitting them in time, right? And so, this is my curiosity for you, Jennie, is like, if you can be with that grief, if you can start to think about what is the new ending? What is the different ending for this story? Is there another exciting, positive way that you could frame this?

[00:06:28] Not to fall into like a toxic positivity thing, but this makes me think about, this image of, like a gymnast going through the air and like kind of like, Oh no, like losing balance. She’s doing a flip, but she’s kind of like a little off kilter and like, Oh gosh, right? But it’s like, you can still stick the landing, right?

[00:06:45] So how do you stick the landing on this? And what would be fun for you? Is there like another milestone coming up this month? Is there like a fun number you can play with where it’s like, Yeah. You’re going to pay it off by 40 years, four months and four days. How can you reframe this goal to adjust to your life and still feel empowered and clear and still see yourself winning? Because you are winning.

[00:07:05] This is an amazing goal, and you are so close to being there, and you get to adjust it. You get to make up a new thing that still makes this a big win and success in your life because it is a big win and success in your life. And even if it doesn’t happen exactly as you planned and envisioned, it’s still going to happen.

[00:07:24] And I know it’s going to happen because I know you and I know that you’re working hard towards this. So, those are my thoughts for you, Jennie, on this. I hope that your health is improving, and I’m excited for you to know you’re going to be hitting this goal in the near future, even if it’s not exactly on the day you originally planned.

[00:07:43] If you have a question for me, like Jennie, you can leave me a question on our podcast page. I’ll put a link in the show notes here. All you need to do is go to the little box that says, Do you have a question for Linzy? Push record. Share your name, share a little bit of context, like Jennie did, if context makes sense for your question, and ask your question.

[00:08:02] And I would love to answer it on one of these Feelings and Finances episodes of the Money Skills for Therapists podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Picture of Hi, I'm Linzy

Hi, I'm Linzy

I’m a therapist in private practice, and a the creator of Money Skills for Therapists. I help therapists and health practitioners in private practice feel calm and in control of their finances.

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